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my puppy passed away last night. i'm still in a way in denial. maybe because i wasn't there. i hate myself for not being there. shannon is leaving mon. i'm going home tomorrow to say goodbye. i feel like i've said that a lot lately. oh a lighter note. franklin my fish is doing just perfect.

i'm this walking time bomb and i hate it. when is it too late to throw in the bucket? i'm working the fashion show tonight for the weekender, which has taken over my life and it's hot and sticky outside. 

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he has all these plans and i don't want to be that person who ruins the expectation. really though. life couldn't be any better. i have enough money to blow at the casino. waking up at 7:30 has become routine. the weekends keep my sanity. my arms still hurt from tubing. mary's a healthy mom with a healthy baby. august is filled with vacations. shannon isn't leaving for oxford until mid sept so she can come visit. oh. i get to go to england for christmas. i have one of the fanciest shmanciest weddings to go to in nyc on top of a roof. he loves me. my health is increasing. everything is a-ok.

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eck. everything is messy. messy messy messy mess. my eng 330 class was cancelled for the fall. i'm thinking of dropping practicum because I have an interview with the weekender. i just don't know. my birthday is coming up. the first one i'll be away from my family. i feel indifferent about that. i think tensions are just running high between us right now. it's been storming a lot here. i kind of like it. it's comforting in an obscure way.

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i'm glad it was dark.
i'm innocent, even if you may or may not believe it
but i fear, you may just forget that from time to time.

i got bling for my birthday, which ahem is two weeks early
& i can't wait to show it off.
i want to keep it on all day every day.

men are so peculiar.
i swear. i seen more girls go through
that apartment than food.
odd. 
i guess he must think he's got game
or something.
it's just
odd.

bed time.

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 i can't wait for the cherry blossom festival.
everything smells in flowers
& i put my fan against my window.

ps: golden state will beat dallas tonight! hells yeah!

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the city looks nice outside my window. i ran with rico today at pittston area; it was rough. i need to do laundry pretty bad but alas i'm putting it off a little longer. renting a room tomorrow night with a jacuzzi. should be pretty amazing if you ask me. i'll post pictures later. it seems like i'll be home around may 11th. we'll see how that goes.

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who is amped about smokin' aces coming out tomorrow? snow in april, who would have thought? i'm in a bad mood today. i feel like i caught something and i can't shake it off. : / i don't want people to worry. i hate when you worry. don't worry about things that won't happen for a year. worry about the summer. seriously. summers make or break these things. i ate a whole lot of sushi last sunday. wow. who would have thought i had it in me? i have an open reading tomorrow and i'm reading my poetry. kill me now. ugh. i feel so stupid in that class and i now realize the different between english writing majors and minors. i'm tired but can't sleep. stayed up late watching man vs. wild and planet earth, which ps was amazing. back to writing about the korean war.









i want to run but only far enough to make you miss me.